


take my hand, wreck my plans

by harleyhearts



Series: 12 days of fanfiction [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A little angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Holding Hands, James Potter is a little shit, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, POV Remus Lupin, Pining, Remus Lupin is Bad at Feelings, Sirius Black is a sweetheart, and also tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harleyhearts/pseuds/harleyhearts
Summary: Remus doesn’t think too much about how his relationship with Sirius might be changing, until Mary meets them in passing, and squints for a moment, “You two make a nice couple.”
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: 12 days of fanfiction [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034355
Kudos: 103





	take my hand, wreck my plans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thurinngwethil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thurinngwethil/gifts).



> my first time writing in the hp fandom (and it shows lmgdhdg). anywhoooo i adore these two despite only having read the books and seen the movies like 10 years ago, so i'm being extremely vague on everything lore cus i truly have the memory of a goldfish! thank you Sari for the prompt, love you babe ❤️ and Cat's read all my fics and helped with the titles at this point cus she's perfect ❤️ hope you enjoy!

Remus likes spending most of his time with Sirius. Or all of his time, really.

To be fair, the other boy’s best friend was James, and his friend, too, and he cared for him and Peter solemnly and dearly.

Sirius being the one most around, that just happened, for some reason. He really doesn’t complain.

Their first meeting on the train he thought him unapproachable, fairly more so than James, perhaps due to his quiet demeanor, as opposed to the other who certainly didn’t shy from speaking his mind.

He learned that this included headmasters, teachers, any figures of authority, too, immediately.

The boy with the long dark hair, his shell was harder to crack. But in their friendship, all three of them have done so, in their own peculiar way, it seems.

And while Sirius ampts up his personality to match the restlessness of Peter and the snark of James, Remus likes the way he’s around him the most, thank you very much.

In all honesty, the times the two of them hang out alone, it’s immaculately peaceful.

Sirius doesn’t fidget, doesn’t insist on him joining every wild activity their other friends make up, be that pranks or more, well, morally unclean ideas. He likes running wild all four of them together, don’t get him wrong, but it’s tiring to be in the spotlight most hours of the day.

Or the teachers’ searchlight. Same thing, really.

And said boy just so happened to have found him just the book he needed. He should be studying potions, actually, both should, but they’ve got all night, right?

Now, they’re sitting in a comfortable silence, in a section all for themselves, and Remus can shut out most of the world for the time being. It’s strange, when his own little universe expands just enough to include the long haired boy in it.

Sirius’ got his feet on the table, which he’ll definitely get thrown out because, if they weren’t out of sight of everyone. So fuck it, Remus put his feet up as well, or one foot, which happened to bump into the other.

He apologised, actually, but his friend’s got that calm where he doesn’t mind.

That’s another thing, sometimes they have these touches, and he doesn’t mind that James and Peter don’t do that, to be honest.

Speaking of the devil, a racket can suddenly be heard, and _a lot_ of shushing, which he doesn’t stop to think much about until their very own James Potter is standing at the end of the table.

“There you are!” he exclaims, gasping for air, another shush getting thrown at him from afar, and he chuckles with a shrug when Remus sits up straight.

He seems in a hurry, which isn’t unusual for him. In fact, he’s already at his side, grabbing Remus’ jacket with no warning, “We were supposed to meet in the common room 20 minutes ago, nerds.”

Sirius doesn’t seem fazed, despite a lifted eyebrow, but stands up patiently none the less. “We lost track of time.”

No further explanations or apologies come out. A man of few words, truly.

James frowns at him, then helps Remus to his feet, and since he’s not really sure what to say, he stares, which earns him a couple of pats on the back.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, dude.” the boy whispers, finally. Sirius shrugs to Remus only. He knows that look.

And their ever so confident friend’s already running again, looking back to make sure they’re in his heels, and flashes a smug smile at the librarian before shouting, without a care in the world, “Peter’s waiting for us, lovebirds!”

…

He supposes him and Sirius sneaking off alone can seem strange, but hey, almost everything about the magical world is strange.

Maybe it’s James and Peter being weird, cause when they find them at the library, which happens _a lot_ , they chuckle almost secretly. Truth be told, the looks they give each other stress Remus out a little bit.

But he’s sure it’s nothing.

Remus doesn’t think about it too much, that is, how his relationship with Sirius might be changing, until Mary meets them in passing, and squints for a moment, “You two make a nice couple.”

He doesn’t even process the comment before she’s already gone, and the girl usually keeps to herself, so he doubts he would’ve gotten much explanation, anyway.

And, well. They’re not a couple. Sirius didn’t seem fazed actually, but he’s surprisingly calm when it comes to most things. Only takes James to rile him up.

So Remus supposes they lean on each other a bit more than with the other guys, but friends can be affectionate, right?

It’s not like he’s thought about kissing his friend.

Of course Sirius is attractive, come on, anyone can see that, but given the four’s bond, it would be unbelievably ridiculous if he even thought about any of them like that.

Or, he’s thought about the way Sirius smiles at him, which he’s convinced himself is just a little different than those he gives James and Peter, but maybe he’s just going crazy. Yeah, that’s probably it.

But he couldn’t _date_ him.

And if anything, Remus blames Mary for this warm feeling he gets in his stomach the next time his friend pokes his cheek, silently telling him to scoot over.

Is that weird? Sirius must do that with James too, he reasons.

Okay, maybe they fell asleep at the library that evening, and maybe they were stumbled awake by the librarian, and _maybe_ Remus finds himself awoken with his head on the taller boy’s shoulder.

Which doesn’t mean anything.

And it certainly doesn’t make him smile to himself when Sirius ruffles his hair, looking like he hasn’t slept in a week, and tells him, “Looks like we’re caught, sleeping beauty.”

…

People must be messing with Remus at this point, because when he and Sirius arrive late to class, it’s relatively quiet, and they think they might be let off with a warning, that is until the tired voice behind them goes, “Just don’t make this a habit, you two.”

He doesn’t know what the students in the front are giggling for.

That is, until he realises that his hand is still very much clinging onto his friend’s, standing at the door they burst open a minute ago.

Remus tries to be casual when he drops it, like, being _cool_ or something, desperately ignoring James laughing his ass off in the back. Sirius doesn’t make it easy, though, cause he nods a reply to the teacher and takes back his hand like nothing happened.

Okay, they’ve held hands before, plenty of time, like when they were running down the hall just minutes ago. Not, well, walking. Or standing in front of someone.

Honestly, Remus is continually surprised by the taller boy, who takes James’ teasing in his stride, while he himself is quietly having a mental breakdown.

So maybe he’s thought about it. A lot.

James is always a little bit of a dick, and his jokes don’t really mean anything, but when people they barely know assume they’re more than friends, well, he can’t help overanalyzing all this.

Because Remus loves Sirius. Like, he loves spending time with him, and he figured everyone has that same fondness for their friends, but truth be told, seeing Peter smacking Sirius’ head for a laugh is something he couldn’t ever see himself doing.

And maybe he’s found himself staring at his friend. Too much for it to be normal, at this point.

He really tried not to, at lunch, but when did the taller boy look so pretty whenever he swept his hair back?

Always, idiot, all of these things about his friend are familiar, it’s not like he changed overnight, but it seems like Remus’ brain only just noticed what makes him… well, him.

Many of the girls beneath their year called him _mysterious_ , and it’s stupid, because Sirius is a nerd. He supposes he understands why they giggle shyly in the halls when he walks by now. Not that Remus does that, of course.

“Sometimes I don’t know where Sirius’ head is at,” James said once waking down Hogsmeade, “He’s from his own planet entirely.”

Maybe he’s right.

James doesn’t need to know that, he always gets cocky whenever he gets praise. And he doesn’t need to know that Remus has started dreaming about kissing his best friend, either.

He cannot get a crush on his friend. Literally, any other guy is fine.

Sirius is too cool for him to embarrass himself in front of, and Remus is sure it’ll pass, you know, puberty. Or something. _Right?_

He tries hard to cover his fidgeting when Lily turns around in front of him, leaning back and whispering, “The fourth years are gonna be _devastated_ when they find out Sirius is taken. I was rooting for you.”

…

Despite whatever thoughts have started to materialize in Remus’ head, he’s stubbornly planning to keep ignoring them.

Keep them to himself, at least.

Because dammit, his gaze naturally landing on the taller boy when he falls asleep in the common room, practically glowing in the light cast from the fireplace, that’s bordering on being a little obsessive.

James certainly isn’t helping, now that their entire year is convinced they’re dating, and their friend thinks it’s hilarious, for some reason. Lily even inquired Remus about whether he was gonna ask Sirius to the yule ball.

It makes him more than a little nervous. He’s denied it when others brought it up, of course.

And maybe, possibly, he’s _pining._

That’s what Marlene told him he was doing, anyway, gone in his own little world, and she snapped her fingers in his face, “Dreaming about your boyfriend, again?”

She’s not totally wrong.

Remus has sort of given up on figuring out where this came from. But who is he kidding, when another night goes by, and this time he can’t even sleep because his brain is churning away at the thought of Sirius taking his hand when he wants his attention, it seems crystal clear.

Like it’s meant to be or something. Not that they’re meant to be, God, wouldn’t that freak his friend out?

Sirius takes these dating rumors surprisingly easy, simply smiling at him with a shake of his head when Remus thought out loud, “You ditched James for this? I mean, _me?_ We can hang out with him, like, I’m boring alone, really-”

“I like your company, stupid.”

And he already _knew_ that, so why does it feel different when the long haired boy, who manages to be scruffy looking and simultaneously capture some movie star levels of beauty, says it this time?

At least Peter seems blissfully unaware of the whole deal, thank god, he probably couldn’t take even more people teasing him.

Which is why Remus falls asleep in the common room again, too tired to deny the idea of a crush on his friend anymore. What’s the point of denying it once he’s realised he could probably look at Sirius smiling forever?

When he’s getting nervous at just that, imagine how nervous he’d be if there was actually a chance of his friend _kissing_ him.

Seems like such an alien idea, but Remus finds himself wishing it true just a tiny bit more every day.

But maybe he’ll get some sleep tonight, for once. If Peter didn’t then decide to seat himself on top of him, “So, when were you gonna tell me you guys were a thing?”

…

Remus doesn’t go to the Yule Ball.

He genuinely doesn’t know if his friend who he’s thinking of as a little more than a friend goes, and at this point, he’s too embarrassed to ask.

Rather suffer in his bedroom, despite James desperately trying to pull him out of bed. Lily even came by an hour ago, bless her heart, asking if he and Sirius were having a fight, and Remus thinks he’s going crazy.

Stupid head. Or heart, isn’t it? Wherever it comes from, feelings are pretty stupid.

When the door opens he almost thinks the ball’s over, but instead of Peter, it’s the best friend he’s least willing to talk to right now.

Sirius Black looks stupidly gorgeous in a suit. Yeah, _gorgeous_ , he’s never used that word about anyone before, actually. It fits, though.

His taller friend fixes his stupid pretty hair, almost like he’s nervous, and clears his throat, “Hey, dummy.”

So naturally, Remus throws a pillow in his general direction.

“Leave me alone.”

He gets no more than silence as an answer, but the boy doesn’t seem to want to leave. In fact, the side of the bed dips, and then they’re lying side by side.

Remus got his head buried in the remaining pillow, but he can feel his friend’s body warmth just slightly.

He stays silent, the asshole.

Ultimately Remus has to turn to his back to breathe, after excruciating five minutes of Sirius tapping his fingers softly on the duvet.

Then he huffs, “Shouldn’t you be with your date?”, because surely he’s ignored that stupid rumor and asked someone out.

The tapping stops. And because he can’t help it, Remus looks over at his friend, to find him smiling dumbly at the ceiling. His hair also looks exceptionally soft, by the way.

“I thought I was.” Sirius says, like it’s the simplest thing in the universe.

Remus rubs his eyes. He really needs to sleep more.

“Yeah, right.” he tells him with a laugh, hoping the tinge of sadness can’t be heard, “Ugh, it’s my fault you can’t have a date. I don’t why everyone’s convinced we’re dating. What a lousy fake boyfriend you got, huh.”

There’s more of their usual silence, only the peace feels heavier in here, for some reason. The boy next to him scratches his head a bit, messes around with the sheets, before settling on his side, and suddenly they’re practically nose to nose.

“What if I want you to be my date?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Remus isn’t sure if he’s surprised or not. He frowns, because in his mind this evening would be spent thinking too much about his friend and all his smiles and soft touches instead of sleeping, while said boy had just the same fun without him.

Maybe he’s too sleep deprived to nervously stutter by this… confession?

There goes the warmth in his stomach again, though, and this time, it’s almost like it’s spreading to his whole body. Remus quite likes that feeling, to be frank.

“I’d say I want that, too.” he finally answers, followed by a yawn.

Sirius smiles and purses his lips, a bit like when James’ got a good comeback, except he’s looking too soft for any snark, “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t think you wanted to.” he gets out, another yawn, and his friend rolls his eyes, “Well, I do, as we’ve established. Now turn around.”

So Remus’ brain is just operating on autopilot at this point, and even though he’d stubbornly argue about this more any other day, he imagines he’ll just do as Sirius says.

Not without memorizing that stupid smile on his face, which he imagines he’s probably mirroring himself.

Maybe he doesn’t mind the arms wrapping around him at all. Remus feels the other boy’s breath in his neck, and suddenly everything seems warm. He likes that new peace settling upon them.

He can’t help yawning for the millionth time, though, “But what about-”

“Go to sleep, dummy.”

And since Sirius plants a kiss on his neck, he won’t refuse.

**Author's Note:**

> if you've come this far and enjoy my work, come and say hi on my [tumblr](https://missorgana.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/empstrikesback) !!


End file.
